"As young women, we were taught to keep silent. We were taught early that taking second place is easier than first."

"You tell yourself that’s all right, but it’s not all right. It is important that we learn to express ourselves, to say what it is that we like, that we want."

Said Françoise Gilot, quoted in "Françoise Gilot: ‘It Girl’ at 100 The painter, writer and the only woman with the spunk and self-determination to leave Picasso has a few things to say about success, personal style and the nature of intimacy" (NYT).

She has not always been above using her looks to further her aims. Soon after they met, she writes, she took up Picasso’s invitation to teach her engraving. “I arrived on time wearing a black velvet dress with a high white lace collar, my dark red hair done up in a coiffure I had taken from a painting of the Infanta by Velázquez.”

When he remarked that her turnout was ill-suited for engraving, she informed him that she knew he had no intention of teaching that day. “I was simply trying to look beautiful,” she told him.

"She has not always been above using her looks to further her aims" — Is that sarcastic understatement?

Speaking of herself now, at the age of 100, she says: “Maybe I rather like the way I look... A sense of style is important... It’s like a pane of glass that makes you seem transparent but at the same time is a barrier.... You should not make yourself known that much to other people and keep your most intimate thoughts to yourself... People tell you to be natural. But what is natural, I would like to know?"

I read her book "Life with Picasso" half a century ago. Highly recommended.

How are you picturing that Infanta hairdo? This seems rather implausible:

"It may seem sweet that your new mate wants to spend all of their time with you. But more often, it’s a red flag..."

"The person may be a narcissist trying to isolate you from the other connections in your life as a way of exerting control....  [I]n cases of love bombing, attention flows in a single direction: One person tries to become the other’s whole world. Dr. Raghavan said that people who have been love bombed often feel as though they’ve lost their sense of self, which can take a long time to rebuild. 'You lose the sense of who you are because little things are being managed for you and these little things can be anything from how you dress to how you present yourself... But it can also be the kind of jokes you’re allowed to tell in public or the kind of woman that he wants you to be.'"

From "What Is ‘Love Bombing’? Grand romantic gestures in the early days of a relationship could be sweet — or a sign you’re dating a narcissist. Here’s how to tell the difference, according to experts" (NYT). 

The illustration is a whole bunch of hearts, so it's safe to say the season of Valentine's Day articles is upon us. Like Thanksgiving — with its articles about the difficulties of sitting through a dinner with your family — Valentine's Day articles these days are probably going to be negative. You think that's love? Think again. You think you want love? No, you don't.

"So, don’t ever, ever let anyone tell you that you’re too angry, or that you 'should keep your mouth shut.'"

Says Michelle Obama — in "Graduates, 'Don’t ever, ever let anyone tell you that you’re too angry'" (WaPo).

If you don't let other people say things, then you are the one who is silencing the other. Where does anyone get the power not to let other people say things? I know, it's a figure of speech, and when you don't "let" another person "tell" you something, what you mean is that you don't have to believe what you're told. They can tell it, but you don't have to accept it as true.

But is it never true that you're too angry? Is Obama saying that no one should ever believe that they're too angry. No, she's just saying form your own opinions about whether your anger has gone too far. You can't trust anyone who tries to impose that opinion on you — to tell you you're too angry.

When I read Obama's advice, the first person I thought of was Donald Trump. Maybe somebody told him that at his graduation: Don’t ever ever let anyone tell you that you’re too angry. But doesn't he let Ivanka tell him that he's too angry?

"I have never felt desired. My past boyfriends never made me feel desired. None of them."

"And it’s a big thing in my life that I feel I have never been physically desired by somebody. So I dress the way I dress as I don’t like to think of you guys – I mean anyone, everyone – judging it, or the size of it.... And sometimes I feel trapped by this persona that I have created, because sometimes I think people view me not as a woman.... But my body is mine and yours is yours. Our own bodies are kind of the only real things which are truly ours. I get to see it and get to show it when I want to.... All I ever wanted was a boyfriend. Any time when it was rainy or cloudy, all I would wish is I was with some boy. That was my thing. Whenever we were somewhere nice, a beach or a balcony with a sunset, I would never be able to enjoy the experience as I just used to wish I was with some boy....  I have never felt powerful in a relationship. I did once and, guess what, I took advantage of that person’s kindness. I wasn’t used to it. It’s been months and I am not attracted to people any more."

Said the big pop star Billie Ellish, quoted in "Billie Eilish: Confessions of a Teenage Superstar" (GQ). She's 17. CORRECTION: She's 18.

"The Best Celebrity Couple Has Broken Up."

At teaser on the front page of New York Magazine.

You know they're not really "the best celebrity couple" or we'd be seeing their names. I won't be conned in to clicking through to see who is supposedly the best.

Or... okay, I will do it for you, so you don't have to: "Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson Broke Up?" The only reason given for their being the best is that they, at first, "hid" their relationships "from the paparazzi," and that they call each other "squish."

If that's the best, why can't we have better celebrities?

"What It’s Like to Isolate With Your Girlfriend and Her Other Boyfriend."

From New York Magazine:

"I live in Brooklyn, and my girlfriend and metamour live in Jersey City. Megan and I have been dating about nine months, and she and her boyfriend have been dating for about two and a half years. I was only going to spend a couple of nights here, but I’m feeling like we’re moving closer and closer to an actual shut down of New York City, and I don’t want to be stuck there if they close the bridges and tunnels. I have a car and I brought a bunch of stuff, so I am temporarily hunkering down here....  They have a two-bedroom apartment here, so I have been staying in the guest room.... But I am personally approaching everything with a lot of caution, and trying to be as polite as possible.... He’s kind of a somber, quiet fella, and I am ready to burst with energy at any moment.... There’s a small little urge in me that’s like, Oh, I want him to like me. I also want everyone to like me.... There’s a part of me that’s relieved that Megan has another person here, because then I don’t have to be everything to her. I don’t have to give her all the attention that’s needed... And... it is a relief to know that if I need to have alone time, she’s good with that..."